


Come Back to Me - One-Shot

by kpopismydrug



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst, M/M, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-06 03:56:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpopismydrug/pseuds/kpopismydrug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you had once chance, would you go back and change what happened? Would you change the way you acted? The way you chose to live? Would you change it all for your love?</p><p> </p><p>  <b>WARNING: Do not read if you aren’t comfortable with suicide. I don’t want to upset anyone, so please take note of the warning. </b></p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back to Me - One-Shot

Donghae should be used to being alone. He should be used to the stillness in his home; the only form of company is the voices coming from the television. His fear of being alone should have been conquered by now, since he’s always facing it. 

But he isn’t.

Coming home at the end of the day should make you relaxed, but it doesn’t feel like a home no more. Every day he dreads coming home to an empty place. The silence smothering him as soon as he enters, the darkness crowding him immediately as it reflects just how his life has changed.

Every light is always switched on, the television a constant presence. He pays the price later when the bill drops on the door mat, but he needs it. He can’t seek the comfort from the person who promised he’d never allow Donghae to be alone. 

Speaking of the person who should be here, there is another voicemail flashing on their machine, and Donghae’s shoulders sag despite the same old routine of coming home to this.

Donghae taps play and curls up on the chair beside the answering machine.

“I know I promised to be home, but I’m still needed here.” His partner’s smooth, rich voice fills his ears; the lack of contrite in his tone still hurts Donghae’s fragile heart. 

“I’ll call you when I’m coming home,” the message continues and Donghae tenses, arms tightly holding his knees as he rests his head on his knees as he waits – hopes for the next words.

The click of the message ending cuts through him like a knife. 

Donghae bites his lip hard, eyes stinging with the pain of loving someone who no longer cares to give him a parting greeting. Donghae begins to shake with the effort of keeping his tears hidden; he’s shed enough over the past few months. 

He fails.

He hits play again and silently cries as he listens to the man who he fell in love, wishing deeply for him to return.

“You’ll never come back home, Kyuhyun.” Donghae whispers to himself, heart clenching painfully at the loss as he turns to look at a picture of them both.

“You’re not coming back to me.”

 

Donghae still hopes.

But he gets nothing in return.

Kyuhyun hasn’t been home now for a month.

His suitcase is still missing. His toiletries no longer placed neatly beside Donghae’s scattered ones. His scent is starting to fade completely. His side of the bed is still cold. 

Donghae’s eyes sting from staring at the laptop screen. The light from that combined with the bedroom light is beginning to cause him to develop a headache, but he won’t stop until he’s done with his routine, done with checking the internet for updates on Kyuhyun’s tour. 

The fans are demanding more dates in countries that’ll take Kyuhyun further away from him. There are pictures from the concert, pictures showing how happy Kyuhyun is, how he glows on the stage that he was born to stand on. Donghae feels guilty when he sees these, feels bad that he’s acting clingy. But...it’s been over a month since he last saw Kyuhyun properly. The last time he saw him was when Donghae saw his concert in Seoul, and even then it was brief because Kyuhyun needed to rest for the concert the next day.

So, he does have a right to be feeling clingy...right? 

“I guess this is the harsh price to pay to love a newly famous ballad singer,” he mutters to himself, the sound of the keypad clicking agreeing with him as he clicks on another news site.

Donghae stills at seeing an interview article done with Kyuhyun. He clicks on it, and skims through it, heart almost dropping to his stomach at seeing a question directed to Donghae.

“It was leaked you were in a relationship a few months ago,” Donghae reads the question out loud and remembers the grainy image of himself and Kyuhyun that was splashed online. “But your songs talk about the pain of heartbreak and losing the love for someone. Is this a representation of your own recent experience?” 

Donghae’s throat tightens as his eyes drop to Kyuhyun’s response. “Nearly all ballad songs discuss the pain of losing someone, and I’ve had some experience with that, so maybe that’s why,” Donghae reads, and for one minute, he stares blankly at the words.

“It’s come across more so in your recent work.” He reads the interviewer’s response and feels a rush of hatred towards this unknown person.

He doesn’t look at Kyuhyun’s response to that.

“Don’t over think it,” he chants under his breath as he switches the laptop off. “It isn’t referring to our relationship.”

 

He doesn’t sleep that night. 

But he doesn’t go to check Kyuhyun’s answer either.

He’s terrified of what it’ll say.

 

Kyuhyun’s finally came home. 

But Donghae’s still alone.

Donghae hasn’t got the strength to even cry any more.

“Can you not stay in for one night?” He meekly asks from where he stands watching Kyuhyun getting ready in the bathroom.

Kyuhyun shakes his head as he smartens his tie. “They want to discuss about releasing another K.R.Y album for Christmas.”

“But it’s only April.”

Kyuhyun sighs and gives Donghae a tired look. “Don’t.”

Swallowing past the lump building in his throat, Donghae whispers an apology and leaves Kyuhyun’s sight. He goes to the living room and stands beside the window so he can see the night creep over parts of Seoul. He sees Kyuhyun’s reflection behind him, watches as the younger male smoothes his black attire, and places his car keys, phone and wallet into his trouser pocket. 

Kyuhyun makes eye contact with him, and Donghae wonders when was the last time Kyuhyun even showed affection towards him?

“I’m going,” Kyuhyun uselessly states, still staring at Donghae.

Donghae craves to turn and embrace the male. Kiss him goodbye and wish him luck.

But all that happens is a nod of his head, and a tired sigh from Kyuhyun as he walks away from him.

The beep of the door locking behind Kyuhyun echoes through the apartment, and Donghae crumbles as he can’t deny it any longer. 

He’s exhausted.

And so is Kyuhyun.

Their relationship......

Donghae doesn’t even know any more.

 

He was determined to stay up and discuss everything with Kyuhyun.

So he decided to take something to keep him awake. 

Eunhyuk used to use it when they were trainees so that he could practise longer during the night and not have sleep pull at him. Donghae always kept it handy, just in case of situations like this. 

He grabs the bottle of stimulant and takes three pills, chasing them down with cold water. He makes himself comfortable on the sofa and waits for them to kick in as Siwon’s new drama begins. 

Half an hour later, and he was still feeling drowsy, so he grabs a few more and chases them down with the now room temperature water. 

Ten minutes later, and Donghae is struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Are they out of date?” he mumbles, pawing for the bottle and groaning when he knocks it off the sofa, the lid popping open and pills going everywhere.

Suddenly the room spins as he moves to pick them up. Donghae’s breathing feels slower, and he panics at the loss of control over his body, just as he slips sideways on the sofa.

From this angle, he can see the name of the bottle.

It says, sleeping tablets.

Underneath, it says not to take more than two.

He took...5? 6?

Donghae wants to laugh at how stupid he is, and also scream for help.

But his lips have gone numb, and his eyes are no longer opening.

And then there is nothing, nothing but the heavy weight of darkness.

 

_“I’m scared of going solo, Donghae.”_

_“You belong on that stage. Take this chance, Kyuhyun. You’ll be fine.”_

_“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I ever have to go on tour? We may not see each other regularly.”_

_“I love you, Kyuhyun. I’ll wait for you.”_

_“...Okay. Let’s see what happens.”_

If you had once chance, would you go back and change what happened?

_“I’m not ready to do a tour on my own.”_

_“But Kyu-“_

_“No. I want to take this slow.”_

_“...If you’re sure.”_

_“I’m sure. As if I could leave you for that long, Hae.”_

_“....Idiot.”_

Would you change the way you acted?  
The way you chose to live?

_“Do you regret not taking that chance?”_

_“Sometimes I do. But then I would’ve lost you.”_

_“No, you wouldn’t.”_

_“We can’t even go a few days without seeing each other, so the distance would have damaged us, and I would’ve broken my promise to you.”_

_“But you would have gained so much by going further.”_

_“And I would have lost you in return, Donghae.”_

 

“Donghae, wake up!”

 

“Oh my god, why did you do this?”

 

“I’m so sorry that I broke my promise to you.”

Would you change it all for your love?

“Please, don’t leave me. Please, just stay. Help is on the way.”

 

“Just open your eyes.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“Donghae?”

 

“Come back to me.”


End file.
